NOW WHAT :0)

Well, here are the before and after pics, from October 08' & October 09'. I have been very excited to have reached my goal weight and even lost a little more than that, all is good with the world, blah blah blah blah. Now I need someone to tell me what to do now, don't get me wrong I have been so blessed to be able to have done this and wouldn't change it for the world I just need to figure out this new me and of course my twisted mind hasn't changed and still has thoughts and dreams that would concern any therapist or bishop. Nothing suicidal or terroristic, but when spoken in confidence to my Jimbo or sisters, they are left with wide eyes and stuttering and stammering. Ah, yes food deprivation has led to an imbalance in many things other than the scales. I wasn't sure I could keep up with this pace of posting on my blog that I have maintained this past year, but I think if I put my mind to it I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN !! Yes, sisters more posts to come. I guess just as with my weight loss battle, it's never necessarily over, we just have to adapt and learn to live a new weigh, I mean way.

I JUST MIGHT WEAR IT ALL WEEKEND

So Coy did shreak with fear when he saw me ascending the stairs to his room and he wondered where the he__ I had got that and when was I going to please take it off. I told him I was going to wear it all weekend. "Why?", he asked. "Because it's my freaking JUNIOR PROM DRESS!!", I squealed. I can't believe it, it fits, well I'm not taking too many big breathes and my boobs are smashed flat as pancakes, but they do have a nice firmness about them if I do say so myself. Okay, I may only wear it for one night and that's only if I don't break a rib or my sternum if I sneeze!!

WE WENT WHERE??

The middle of March, Jimmy & I went to Mexico on a service project with my work to take donated eyeglasses to the needy in the middle of no where Mexico. We stayed in Colonial Juarez Chihauhau, Mexico. I was feeling much better and had no shortage of protein, there were refried beans everywhere!!

This is where we fit them for their glasses, they would come into the overflow with a RX from the doctors and we would take that to the tables full of sorted donated glasses and find a few that were as close to their RX as we had and let them pick which worked the best. Well, most took which one worked the best some took the one that they thought looked the best on them.

The Menonite men & boys looked like they could have came right out of the Basin. Most of them wore crisp denim bib overalls, or Wranglers and boots. Most of them are farmers, because they don't believe in modern things. It's against their religion to fly an airplane, but they could own one and have someone fly it for them? People are the same everywhere, give them a rule and they'll find a way around it.

These are some of the Menonite women we saw at the project which was in an LDS stake center, the most gorgeous church building other than a temple I've ever been in. This is very typical dress for them, they sew their own dresses so a lot of the families had the same dresses and they were very clean and not a hair was out of place under those hats. They were a lot like the Amish. They spoke mostly German and the men generally spoke for the women. Cade Kowallis had been to Germany on his mission so he interpeted for us. A lot of the Menonite men spoke German, Spanish and some English but not the women. They also don't marry out of their race or religion and there was only one settlement of Menonites so there wasn't much doubt why they had such bad eye sight.

We are standing in front of the Colonial Juarez temple, the smallest LDS temple in the world.

DON'T TEMPT THE ALL MIGHTY GODS

Okay, tonight I came to the realization why I couldn't bring myself to blog about anything. I'm scared!! You'd be scared too if anytime you even quietly mentioned something BAM, you get bit right in the butt with the very thing that you let cross your lips. It is for that reason I will only tell you the scope revealed my pouch didn't need stretching open, the lining was red and irritated so I am taking a small pill each night to control the amount of stomach acid which dumps into my pouch each morning. I'm not saying anything specific, but I guess I'm really typing so I'll type and tell you Wednesday was the dreaded 2 week thing and it has came and gone without incident. That's all I'll say about that. I'll now uncross my fingers and toes and offer a sacrifice to the Gods, maybe a piece of this cake that keeps staring at me. I never have lost a stare down with a piece of bakery before this surgery, but it's kicked my trash since October. Da-- it!!!

Here We Go Again :0(

Well, I told Jimmy, with the troubles I had having our kids, why did I ever think I could do this and have everything go smoothly. Of course I'm thankful things have went as well as they have, but last Saturday, about 2 weeks after my gallbladder surgery, the waves of nausea began again !?!? I did everything I could to talk myself out of it, but I don't think you normally have to do breathing from lamaze after you brush your teeth to keep from throwing up! Well, it's become a daily ritual for me and it wouldn't work on Thursday. Back to the protein drink and probably on Wed. I'll have a scope to see if my outlet of my new stomach has scarred down to too small of an opening. They can stretch out the opening at the same time if it has. So for now I feel much better as long as I don't try to eat 3 meals and stick to the drink. Am I sorry I had the bypass, no, I just feel bad when it affects more than just me. I don't think Jimmy and Coy have ever cooked & cleaned this much and I appreciate it so much!!

BACK TO THE GRIND

Okay, I had my gallbladder out the day after Christmas and all is well. No, this isn't really a picture of my stomach, but you get the gist. Crazy it actually hurt worse than my bypass surgery, but was still not as bad as I was worried it would be. Never in my life did I think I would have a total of 12 holes put in my body. 2 from having my tubes tied, 6 from bypass and a fresh batch of 4 from the gallbladder. I now have a crude outline of a football laying across my stomach. Still a lot better than in the olden times when they basically sliced you open from stem to stern for just about everything. And as my last lesson taught me I shall not bad mouth the 12 poke holes because things can get worse.

I have been able to start back on food and haven't been sick at all, knock on wood, and the weight loss has started again thank heavens, I'm 3 lbs away from losing 100 lbs since February, apparently losing the weight of a kid thats in 11th grade is going to take a little while, who'd of thunk it???

So minus a few more pounds and with a few steri strips still glued to my belly Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho it's off to work I go tomorrow. ( Sorry to the girls at work, I know it's probably been heaven without me there ;0)

Oh, yeah the little weight loss tracker tracks my BMI, body mass index on top half, and the bottom shows total lbs lost going for a goal of 158 lbs lost in the end. I know the numbers are staggering and can give your brain a cramp when you try figure the beginning weight, and that my friends is a secret shared in confidence with my preacher?!?!

So Critical

Okay, so life lesson learned. In my earlier posts I have been so judgemental and critical of the generous 6 oz of food I was being allowed to partake of a day. For this I say I am sorry, so deeply sorry. As the old saying goes you never knew how good you had it until you don't have it anymore. That's right, treat something bad and it will be taken away from you. Well, since about the middle of November I had been so sick to my stomach I couldn't blow my nose without gagging and dry heaving, brushing my teeth same thing. Didn't really matter what I ate I would be sicker than I had been with morning sickness with my kids and that was pretty bad. Even watching the cooking shows on Food Network made me sick. Well after I had missed 2 days of work in a week I got a hold of my Dr and the Tuesday before Thanksgiving he had me quit food entirely and go to drinking 2 protein shakes a day and keep up the 64 oz of water. Sounds brutal but within a couple of days I was feeling so much better as long as I didn't eat. Went to him the Tues. after Thanksgiving and he thinks it may be my gallbladder. Since then I've had a ultrasound, no gallstones. Then a Hydascan that injects radioactive dye into your liver then your gallbladder to see if it's dumping correctly. Well, went to the Dr today in the lovely snowstorm and tada I have to have my gallbladder out:0( And the only way to do it before the end of the year, when my insurance changes is to do it the day after Christmas. Oh, well, he thinks as soon as it's gone I can start back on soft foods and work my way back up to the foods I was eating. The last week things have finally started smelling good again and I've had a couple of nibbles of things and have done okay if I drink water with them. The protein drinks haven't been that bad, they are chocolate and the first sweet thing I had had besides yogurt since surgery, the only bad thing at 380 calories a day, that's more than the food I was eating so things have slowed down a bit but I'm totally stoked about losing 52 lbs in 9 weeks and 86 lbs total since the end of February!!!!

So life lesson learned, if you love something don't talk smack about it.

Alright Already!!

You have to remember I told you guys I wasn't the greatest at this, it may be a while in between posts. Apparently it's going to be even longer between pictures. I have to let the suspense build for Gina it's been a while since she's been able to come out. Living the lifestyle of the rich and famous and all like she does. JK we've both kind of been hit and miss and as it happens we've missed many more times than hit on the seeing each other the last month. I just haven't known if the pictures would be enough different to post too many. Things have been feeling much more normal for me. I've been able to introduce some more solid foods like chicken and turkey, and some hamburger so I've been trying to be a little creative with the 70% protein and 30% veggies. Not as creative as I used to be. I had such a good imagination before that I could make a handful of cookies and a glass of milk seem just like I had eaten carrots and tomato juice. Didn't quite get the same results as now for some reason. 4 weeks out today and I've lost 33 pounds !!!

You Asked For It!

Ain't nothing glamorous about these shots, Jimmy took on his camera phone.

One of the six holes they delicately rammed iron rods through my stomach !!
Removal of the wonderful, bloody drain, I suggest everyone try it once.

Preparing for the bloody drain removal, I mean bloody in an English swear word sort of way ;o(

The queen upon her throne, about to be dethroned, if I'd only known what I would be going home and learning to make my body adjust to thinking and eating like the squirrels we talked about earlier, because babies even eat more than this. Really the last week has been better I can now eat a slice or so of lunch meat with some cheese on it, also an egg scrambled is about 2 ounces, a string cheese makes a mighty nice 2 oz. meal if you take your time and take the full 20 minutes I'm supposed to take to eat my 3 meals. Big surprise only 3 meals of the healthy 2 oz, not the 6 like I was thinking. Oh well, good thing I don't feel any physical hunger at all and have to keep a constant watch on the clock so I don't drink any of my blessed, drowning 64 oz of water, I have to drink everyday, 30 min. before my meal or 30 min. after. And it doesn't matter how hot you have 2 oz of food, after you've fiddled around eating it for 20 min it's going to be cold. Long gone are the days of absent minded eating anything I wanted, or could fit in my mouth, well I may have not been that bad, but I definitely can't do that now, Aaah, Intervention !!

IT'S ALL OVER BUT THE CRYING

Well, todays my first day of being home for the full day, feeling pretty good !! I went out Sunday night to SLC, they give you some lovely CLEANSING potion to drink and I didn't want to be on the move Monday morning and have things still moving if you know what I mean. Not a fan of the side of the road pit stop. Needless to say things "worked" out fine, but I was glad I wasn't on the road that morning. Got to the hospital @ 8 am, Mom, Dad, Mallary, Treycin, Mandi, Coy and of course my wonderful Jimbo were all there. We gave Jimmy his birthday present as we waited for me to go to surgery. A fun time for him I'm sure ;-) They whisked me away and before I knew it I was about to be put to sleep in the operating room, I made sure the nurse told my Dr. Simper that if I had any say, I requested a size 8 or 10. No harm in trying, right? Next thing I know I'm waking up in my room at about 1 pm and hopefully I divulged nothing inappropriate while heavily medicated. I'm sure it was all lies if I did. Slept alot, everybody got kicked out, except Jimmy by the Til of the Hun nurse in charge, Sorry guys. I was able to have a morphine pump that I clicked whenever I needed it. The main thing that was uncomfortable that day was just some pain in my left chest from the gas they bloat your stomach with, I thought it was big enough to start with. Next day I got up and showered, walked every hour and felt pretty good, just stiff and tired. Got released about 7:30 pm. Thank you Gina for letting us use your house while you've been gone, it was nice to go to a familiar place and be able to relax instead of in a motel for 2 days. Thanks for all the calls and visits from everyone, Everyone has been so great and supportive!! I have some pictures to post later that my loving husband took as they were removing my drain and staples. You can always count on him to be there when you need him the most. thanks for the lovely pictures, Hon!!

No Turning Back Now

Okay, everyone I went to the last of my pre-op visits today. We learned that we will be eating an amount for 1 meal that basically if you tried real hard you could fit on one spoonful !?! Of course we are given the liberty of partaking 6 times a day of the generous 2 oz. portion. Sign me up, luckily they say you normally lose your appetite and don't realize your only eating as much as a small chipmunk. Drawing blood wasn't nearly as traumatic as I thought, the needle was not 6 inches long to get through my fat to a vein. Urine sample, now that's another story, I don't think I needed step by step instructions on a cartoon flip chart in the bathroom, actually the closest thing to porn I've seen in who knows how long. So basically they have my blood, they have my money and come Monday morning @ 8 am 1st step to a new and healthier me !!! (Refer to photo above)

One PHAT Masha

I did have pretty good hair and a nice shirt I must say.

I'm not quite sure what I was allergic to

to cause all that swelling ??

Behind the Camera

I've gotten used to being behind the camera so when the girls tell me I have to put pictures of myself, I have some definite issues with that. Oh well, the day is quickly approaching and as I found this picture to post the day can't come fast enough !! The photo above was in February before I had started using Isagenix. And I thought I looked nice:-( Since that time I've lost 34 lbs. Well, I go Friday and they'll draw blood, I don't know how much but I hope it's not so much per pound or I'm in trouble. Even with the blood and gore I'm totally excited !!

Introducing. . .

. . . ME !!!

Rumor has it I may be going under the knife !

It's time to give birth to Coy's twin that I've been

hosting as a parasite, and not so inconspicuously lately. People have noticed the growth lately, well maybe for the last 15 years and it is the talk of many hushed discussion. To those of you I say #@*! *&#@. OMG JK

Apparently enough of you have contacted the officials and a procedure is scheduled for Monday Oct. 13th. Happy Birthday Jimmy

Against my will and better judgement, this is a blog to document my experience and journey.

Each week I'll try... to keep you updated, on me the incredible loser.